but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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