you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
