would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
