I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
