NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
