I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
