no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
