so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
