let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
