In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize