I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
