Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
