Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
