Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
