there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
