I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
