Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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