She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
