Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
