Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Randomize
