i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
