We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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