was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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