dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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