Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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