I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I want her autograph on my taint
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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