Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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