Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
