it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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