I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize