I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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