my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Randomize
