I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
