She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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