Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
how does that bad decision feel?
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