My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
