butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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