Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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