trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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