so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
