he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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