How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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