the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She bit a glass in half.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
