hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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