new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
