She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
