I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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