I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize