"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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