so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
