You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
