well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
What drink are we having for lunch?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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