Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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