Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
