Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
