What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
