hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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