Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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