were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
