i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
