i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
