we should wear snuggies to the strip club
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I love you.
Bad choice
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
